endurance

15:30 

Autumn leaf

is the sound made in 

My silence

Existence

tests and untests me 

the damp earth


in embrace
My beloved spring
tears can wait

written as a part of Haiku Heights #112 - Endurance

The Order.......

On the day..

Siva smiled...

Incarnation of desire.....there it was..

a expression .... masqerading as love and affection ......but mostly

was infatuation of oneself......a serpent.

What appears ...Siva  believes...therefore 

he is innocence incarnate.

Siva... is indeed human .

...........On the day He became human...

           the snake lost its charm ..and dropped the mask....

           Covering him .... around and around.......in appraent play 

           And  he played and watched it being played...by the serpent.

           He even donned the robes....of a man ..

           and said   Even the silence is a play 

Siva's human...the human is siva....

Confused .....and questions consumed ..the  serpent.

wasnt it supposed to devour him?..... the man ?

wonderstruck with  the manifestation 

The serpent  calmed down..

 ...........The moment it calmed down ..

           It was insecure ......insecure...It could not exist

           and fear of uncertain future engulfed it

           and in this fear it tightend the grip

           It was then ... that 

           The man ... left the breath to be the master 

When the breath became its  own master then 

it seized to be its own slave

It spoke with its heart....in silence .. and 

The man  ...listend to the whisper ...eternity was its home...

omnipresence its nature ....

Look at the serpent..... in its eyes........thats the birth place of the void

Look at it with eyes closed .. but with the eye opened.

The man .. opened his eye ... and closed the eyes...

and lo and behold.. the present was born.

        At that millisecond ......and onwards ... there was no time ..

        no serpent and

        No man....... and  siva was born.....born again 

        In the concience of   "Siva" .... as peace ...  

        Desire  became a lovely walk down the woods in solitude

        Death became a transit.....

        His dream ..... was lifeless... yet full of life..

        Life became a  ray.. of the sun ... tracing back its roots

       Truth  that had come to be known as untruth ...

       Came home...

The Road less taken

Travelling alone .....is cool....
With a few chosen friends...is sexy.....
When the Man... his heart ..and the machine......come together....then ..its something....
Who's this man who travels...who loves his journey.... so much 
Define him !!....
Can u ? ... can we ????
His heart... is a road.....the machine knows it ....that its a road  less taken.......
Just for this one simple ....truth ....the machine loves him.
It speaks ... it smiles... it makes people fall in love with the man .....
So much so .... that the man ... and his machine ...are inseparable...............


Both are enigma..... personified....
Its simple .....actually .. no big Gyan ..If you name the man ,, You name his machine.......its that simple. Really ........maa kasam ....!!!
I name  the man Appachhan........You may name him something else.............In my notes  He appears .. in a myriad forms...... avatars...to be more precise....Some time I call him Appachhan... some times Achhan........Some times he appears as english alphabets...gathered together.. to be called as words...He is some times just the dots......and sometimes he is in the space between the words and even the dots....You may call this stupid... and me crazy creature ....but that's the way it is. Its good if it is that way . That's the beginning of a journey ...Craze....defined by Achhan ... to be a state where your heart  IS in your desire ...and the desire .. IN your heart.......


Men after men... explored the unknown .. for the unknown is fascinating..........All sorts of things are linked to the unknown.... intact people think that to explore .. is to search for the unknown ....what rubbish.....!!
Appachhan said that  it's in fact the contrary ...its to explore the known that is more fascinating ....
Appachhan  also said ...that the exploration is even more exciting ..when that...'known' .. begins to explore you .....
The man and his machine .... explore each other... haan .. they meet in the midway somewhere ....and that meeting  place is ..their heart.........
It may be impossible for you to imagine Achhan... unless i tell u ..as I see him as clearly I say him a full 40 years ago ....His eyes are the most striking feature... he is in his eyes...i felt most of the time... yes they are human ...they are black ...they are in search ... in the wait... and if you get lucky .. enough ... you may lift the eyelid a little bit... and in his eye .. is a reflection of the most beautiful person in the world.........Life as it manifests....as freedom ... as a tiny little girl on the swing.....as a woman whose eyes are holding the tears of separation from her beloved....as an old lady plucking berries....of wisdom ... of love.... of compassion ....
Aaah...life !! and its colors....
Today i am no mood to describe more ....not that i dont want to ... but i cant.....but i dont want to let the moment go either....
I shall narrate you a  tale..before you sleep today ...A story ...that is told to every kid born ....when the tide of  Xersus....is neither high or low....when the sun does not so hot that if u sit on it it bruns ur bums....or when the song of the Anjaan peer is heard....from the  mountains of Pampa....Pampa... is a village ..... a few  humans live here...in the banks of Xersus.. the river .... but the voice of of the Anjaan Peer .....remains...as the conscience...as ever  
The only rule the mother follows when she tells this story ...is that it should be told when the Kid is just about to sleep....

"On the Banks of Xersus..... one day .. there were foot prints.....no body knows from where they came....on the same day at the same time.... another set of foot prints emerged.....The footprints...walked to wards each other......soon feet emerged from the foot prints....and then the legs ... and the then the body ... then a set of foot prints became a woman .... and the other a man .........when they came so near that they could feel their hearts and breaths.....there was fire.....not something that burnt peoples lives... but nurtured...human souls...and then ......... then....the  foot prints  disappeared.....but the warmth ignited  is still felt......"

As is said earlier ... no kid has ever grown ....without listening to this ...and sleeping over this...its such a ridiculous stuff!!....some kids say this...and when they do they are burnt by the curse of Xersus...
The kid that mulls it over ..... understands this narrative in his or her own way ....
Me too.....

A traveler is less known by the foot prints....

He may be a man ... or a woman .... or both 
His foot prints are transient......bound to be washed away..by tides ....if not of any thing ....but of time...

He makes friends... to love .....for life ...

It is love that makes him travel..... to the unknown ...or to the known 

In love .. there is hardly a thing that is unknown ...

A true traveler....Knows...that his foot prints cant be for ever  

There is a warmth ... a traveler in truth .... leaves behind...that lights up the homes... in peoples hearts...

Anjaan peer sings only when there is warmth.. in peoples heart.
.
...
.........
.............
..................
IT's no wonder to the kids of Pampa....when they see a man in the machine he loves.....and the machine in the man  who loves him ...Sing ....

Story submitted for the Mahindra XUV 500 Incredible story context.  if you want to know more about the XUV.. here is the link .   http://www.mahindraxuv500.com/  ....its another amazing stuff...from the house of Mahindra... 

Of death

To night I write

to a friend unknown , unmet, unseen......

Yet I feel ....the presence........amongst the 

Yellow flowers....with petals folded

in prayer.

To night... at this very moment...

just across...the feet....

the friend.. sits 

as me...

as self...

and smiles.....and extends ..his arms

I am the child... or is he ...?

I wonder....

but the calling...!

I close my eyes... and 

pretend to sleep....

Pretend not to feel....

I lie....that I am dreaming ....to myself

and in the world around....

inside....

a rainbow appears...

from the land of glowing fairies.....

The friend....is a rainbow.

What if I dont embrace

What if i dont try to avoid... to run ..

What if I shun....

And open my eyes

How does it matter 

says the rainbow....

I am here to stay 

As long as there is a cloud....

which sings its heart out....for 

the rays of sun...

in love

If the morning sun ...rising as a reflection

in the water that is held in palm

And stays...in my heart  

when the water flows

back to the river

Then

So be it.......

Words

Sometimes ... I have none....

Its as though ......I have receded in to a deep and dark place

...

The place is unknown ...... and people are unseen ,......things 


are

 not felt.....in the same way ..............

Thats when I hear you ......as a faint whisper......

 an emotion. 

 a Word.....

Its darkness resembles the night 

of the lonely walk ....by the valley of flowers 

.....

The silence.......of the leaves that gently fall by ....

The hands.....that were once cold...feel warm...

The Air ..is still.... but so .am I

in its whispers.. time drops its ambition to rule ... and becomes

no time.......and Wings appear of no where .....

Dreams ........are real .....

As words..

....

...words... were all ... that I ever had .....

To see......to know ....and to feel.....

To love.....and to live...

A Dream in a cup of Black coffee

Angel...fumes..........from the mind

That burn with a desire......to rise.....

arise they do .......till they disaapear....

into my self.....

into such a  sky......

may....my mind   arise.

I rise ... into the sky 

and I soar...back to the world...

World that has ceazed to be painfull...

all   I  see.... is the silver..... that lines the dark clouds

Stooping down to kiss the ....bylanes..

of the maze

called life.........

The rickshaw wallah.... was in my dream

just the other day ....

he smiled too....as

he fought with me ...for the change  I didnt owe

yet again........oh what a way ..

to be awakend ..from a slumber

I think .. its time to get into the 

cold rugs.....back...to dream...

to a sleep ....thats just begining to warm up  my existance

and the wave of cold winter....is passing by

The mind.....had its own sky

Lit.....with a glow...

I see it ..yet ..  cant show it...

In to that glow .........I vanish....

with the body .. with the mind ....and with all I have 

and Yes.. I dont forget to take my childhood....

the woman on the swing....

the fresh leaves.....some orchid buds....

and the pearls.. of morning dew..

and my kids..

Oh the sky......

Breaks... the shells.... of my birth....

of my memories......... of agony 

and ecstasies.......

Layers......of them...concepts

are gone........and a sigh of relief....

is wispered

The cosmos..... has kept its word

It just deliverd a 

child...for the immortal world

again.........

Here I am the rickshaw.....the rickshawallah

and the traveller....

I am the song.....I am the singer....and I am the one 

who listens.....too...

no ... its not boring ....!!!! I seem to yell...

infact thats how it is........

In silence rested peace....In peace the light.....In light the word.....

That which was silence.... had ...become the word...

its indeed the word ...that became the song...

Wake up...!!! wakeup.....!!

Did I  hear some one calling .....

and I woke up..... like a moron

and the coffee... had gone cold....

but the sky ....the clouds....the woman on the swing... the orchid buds....the morning dew....

and ....my children

all in smiles.....and the  heart of the rickshawalla...

still....beating strong....

.and  in his self......was...

Hope.

The Jasmine bud

Destiny.....

Brings me near.....the edge....

Moments.....lost and forgotten....usher in ....

The smell of first rain .....is never lost..

Open your arms...to me ...a whisper says...

as  I become a  jasmine bud

The moment is warm ...... hold it in your palm...and drink

the times .....sips ..of love...

let it settle down....the fragrance...

Breath in ....my beloved....

breath me....and all that was ever mine...

From here .... to infinity ....

Fear ....

is in my being....

not that I become old ..  or you wither away 

but to loose your warmth ..when alive

A whisper is all that I AM ......and  you ..a flower

Yet the embrace ..is celestial

The gods.. of light ... of sound.... of water....of earth .... and of space...

Dance ....and make merry...

Its in me ....the sky is aglow.....gone is the despair and so is the darkness

In your being .. is mine...

In the  moment is all that is ...ours...and by the 

dawn ...we are gone ..

Sometimes......I seem to talk to my self...

Imagine.....there wasnt a moment .....to spare 

Imagine... there was  no sky ...for the birds.....no clouds.. for the angels 

Imagine ... there were no kids..... no mama papas...no girls.. and no boys...

Imagine...  there are .. no flowers.. ... no rain drops... and no butter flies..
.

Imagine .... there was no hate... and  Love was absent too...

Imagine .. Sound was unheard...  the word unspoken...and ...Language was a distant dream

Imagine...Lennon.. was never born ....

In my .....nothingness ... you were present 

In my ...every thing.......then

Can  you be absent.

O my ....jasmine ..

May .. You .....Bloom .....

The gosai ghat... and the thunder from nowhere

Why do u cry ..... O my beloved....Why do u cry ........

in grief..................?

Is it not a crime to do so ? when...

for the life which was lived

I .... am..the sole witness.and I whisper ... in your ears ... if

You want to listen

The Ashes ... give birth .....and the Flames from the burning pyre disappear...

to what ..... to where .........???

They come to me ... for

I am the water ..

I am the very earth and ..indeed

I am the Sky..

thus spoke a man who exited his mortal frame 80 years ago...... just before he wiped grief... from my forehead for ever.....I still cry... but tears just roll down.. and they are

welcome..

The yellow butterfly and cobweb.

Oh you came ......

my beloved winged .......monk !!! you came...

I just lost......a beat of my heart....on seeing you..

and the reckless abandon of your flight ... mesmerizes me..

The cobweb.... that has become me....

you came straight into it.....to get caught...

and you still beat the wings ...and tell me... to clear them...

clear your cobwebs.!!!..... of the mind !!... of the ego!! ...of the person that I am...

...or I have become....you seem to whisper...

How many of them ...were there....of births and rebirths

of this world and the other.....I begin to wonder..

But first ... Let me save you ...for my unborn children...

for my love ... for an expression of my own ...

So I open a window......the fresh air fills me .. in gasps...and you fly away

to the blossom ....and on its damp.. heart you make your home....

You fill me ....Like the smile of a child... and like the world vision....

of a man .. blinded by his senses...and

no .. I don't know you..or do I .. I don't know

I don't want to know...

for .. its time ... to clear the corners of my mind

of cobwebs... and thats all.. it means when Let out a sigh and say ...

I do.

the attic ....is where the child hides

In the attic.. is the cosmos....

why do u stare at a dead flesh( thats your past) and

Why do you worry of the darkess in one corner.( death and uncertainities)

The cosmic self is you... the child....

Bring her down...

And all the dead... sublimates

And all the darkness is vanquished..

You ...are indeed

Your own child

Your own mother

And

Your own light

on the wave

on the wave you ride ... my beloved and cry

melancholy is me....and

you ...are the sea

in your eyes you feel the tears, of separation

and in me they appear ....as drops of dew

clear ... pure....... and silent.

why die ...in installments...?

Die once....

and for all

if death brings an union...... then

so be it.