Thursday, April 23, 2020

Alms

If I were to roam 
the streets of 
of my life ..again 

This time .....around 

when we meet .. 
I would hold ... not you 
but your soul 
...the sublime 
part of your  own ... self 
that fills you 
and all that 
emerges......

in your pain 

and sorrow 
in your happiness 
and ecstasy 
memories that have passed by 
and aged like wine 
 your eyes 

of all that is remembered 

the eyes .....remain
and they.. i know 
wont go away 
..soon 
or may be.. they would never 
and are here 
to stay ....

They are not two 

but one , .... no 
you don't seem to know it 
as of now 
not that you cant 

or you never will 

Ah yes , the soul!

i would want to hold it 
if i were to roam 
the streets.... of...... life 

For when , nothing ... 

is seen 
when nothing is heard 
...it...is felt   
between the words 
as the space 
as nothing....really ... ! 
and nothingness is known
i have seen it 
and beyond 

Indeed it is 

the beyondness 
in which you live 
as you have 
always ....
and it is here  I would 
stop all my movements 
and even the breath 
and the heartbeat .. if need be 
become a caterpillar 
again 

With  the eye ... wide open 
I  would  be on my knees 
as if  .. 
I would extend my arms 
and 
with my eye in yours 
in silence ...bloom..
out of the cocoon 

you would listen to a voice 

saying
in the name of the wings ....

...Alms please ......









.........................................

Bhiksha










Saturday, April 18, 2020

Amour

Some times
I feel
The rose ....with my lips
Some times it's so real
That I feel the rose
On my very lips
And I can smell
You
Amour
And it makes my life
Miserable
For it stays and stays ...
...has a power
a personality ...a desire ..
.and a destination ..
.a thirst....
of its own ....
a life too

And it  takes away
my sleep
fills my dreams
mostly...
You Amour....,then.
.... are every where

As the dew drop
on the petals of rose
As the wet earth ...soft ..
almost edible strands
Of the grass on the mound 

As the breath
That is heard ....
over the call during
these times
when the roads are
quiet
Unusually

......words spoken
Loose their meaning
And words not spoken
don't mean a thing
Such is the aroma
Of the rose ...
That you wear ..
On you ...
Amour

And as silly as it can get
I just keep waiting
For  the morning
And the noon
And in the nights
That are warm
And lonely ..
In solitude
It fills me
With silence...

Broken only
by
Sounds of breath
That End too soon
And the heat
That melts
A log of wood
And that's when
I wake up
In your arms and you say
...
Then?

Soul poem IV..........the Brahman...is dead

Soul poem IV..........the Brahman...is dead

Love ..is a faint voice...
almost like a child..
in womb....mostly felt and 
mostly unseen  
yet filling the existence 
of a woman.....and of a man, is unknown
yet ..as of now ..
the search is on 
for the cosmos and the feminine...



Time...moves
in leaps ....over the mountains..
sometimes as clouds...sometimes as thick fog
time is truth..they say..
and truth is space...they say
but space is every where..
inside you ..inside me
yet...as of now
the search is on
for the space....where truth is spoken...here and now.



The Brahman 
is dead...so are the sacred threads
and the beads
and the chants
and all the strings....
attached and those devoid...
can be consumed...by yellow and red  and blue .. flames
yet as of now,
the search is on ...
for the fire ...of sublimation 
of existence



The Brahman....
is dead....the cosmic recluse 
is .... everywhere indeed...
birth never created  him
 death cant  undo her......Dance.....my love
in insane ..sanity
Drink.......my zoya
all the sorrows ....
of all the lives...
and sing ..
in your own voice
your own song 
..in your own way..
liberation..is here...and ...wow

yet  as of now....the search is on ...
for ....a     lullaby







the phrase 'Brahman is interchangeably used here to denote the birth ..in a caste.....and as in 'the self -Atman'( where he and she mean the same) Unless the birth order dies ,,,the 'other order' does not emerge .....the other 'order' is a spiritual path if one may say so...for no one knows what liberation means....to the liberated....and the liberated..can only say so in comparison to his or her erstwhile state. This is the last of the soul poems series... my dialogue with Zoya continues...as love , as the feminine, and as life itself ,
SHE ...fails to wither away...and I m not a  whiner.
 

Soul poem III : The Jasmine bud

Soul poem III : The Jasmine bud

Destiny.....
Brings me near.....the edge....
Moments.....lost and forgotten....usher in ....
The smell of first rain .....is never lost..
Open your arms...to me ...a whisper says...
as  I become a  jasmine bud
The moment is warm ...... hold it in your palm...and drink
the times .....sips ..of love...
let it settle down....the fragrance...
Breath in ....my beloved....
breath me....and all that was ever mine...
From here .... to infinity ....

Fear ....
is in my being....
not that I become old ..  or you wither away 
but to loose your warmth ..when alive
A whisper is all that I AM ......and  you ..a flower
Yet the embrace ..is celestial
The gods.. of light ... of sound.... of water....of earth .... and of space...
Dance ....and make merry...
Its in me ....the sky is aglow.....gone is the despair and so is the darkness

In your being .. is mine...
In the  moment is all that is ...ours...and by the 
dawn ...we are gone ..

Sometimes......I seem to talk to my self...
Imagine.....there wasnt a moment .....to spare 
Imagine... there was  no sky ...for the birds.....no clouds.. for the angels 
Imagine ... there were no kids..... no mama papas...no girls.. and no boys...
Imagine...  there are .. no flowers.. ... no rain drops... and no butter flies...
Imagine .... there was no hate... and  Love was absent too...
Imagine .. Sound was unheard...  the word unspoken...and ...Language was a distant dream
Imagine...Lennon.. was never born ....


In my .....nothingness ... you were present 
In my ...every thing.......then
Can  you be absent.

O my ....jasmine ..
May .. You .....Bloom .....

Soul poem II : A Dream in a cup of Black coffee

Soul poem II : A Dream in a cup of Black coffee

 
Angel...fumes..........from the mind
That burn with a desire......to rise.....
arise they do .......till they disaapear....
into my self.....
into such a  sky......
may....my mind   arise.

I rise ... into the sky 
and I soar...back to the world...
World that has ceazed to be painfull...
all   I  see.... is the silver..... that lines the dark clouds
Stooping down to kiss the ....bylanes..
of the maze
called life.........

The rickshaw wallah.... was in my dream
just the other day ....
he smiled too....as
he fought with me ...for the change  I didnt owe
yet again........oh what a way ..
to be awakend ..from a slumber
I think .. its time to get into the 
cold rugs.....back...to dream...
to a sleep ....thats just begining to warm up  my existance
and the wave of cold winter....is passing by

The mind.....had its own sky
Lit.....with a glow...
I see it ..yet ..  cant show it...
In to that glow .........I vanish....
with the body .. with the mind ....and with all I have 
and Yes.. I dont forget to take my childhood....
the woman on the swing....
the fresh leaves.....some orchid buds....
and the pearls.. of morning dew..
and my kids..

Oh the sky......
Breaks... the shells.... of my birth....
of my memories......... of agony 
and ecstasies.......
Layers......of them...concepts
are gone........and a sigh of relief....
is wispered

The cosmos..... has kept its word
It just deliverd a 
child...for the immortal world
again.........

Here I am the rickshaw.....the rickshawallah
and the traveller....
I am the song.....I am the singer....and I am the one 
who listens.....too...
no ... its not boring ....!!!! I seem to yell...
infact thats how it is........
In silence rested peace....In peace the light.....In light the word.....
That which was silence.... had ...become the word...
its indeed the word ...that became the song...

Wake up...!!! wakeup.....!!
Did I  hear some one calling .....


and I woke up..... like a moron
and the coffee... had gone cold....
but the sky ....the clouds....the woman on the swing... the orchid buds....the morning dew....
and ....my children
all in smiles.....and the  heart of the rickshawalla...
still....beating strong....
.and  in his self......was...
Hope.

Mundaka IV

The Song of "it"
.........................
Epilogue
.............
Mundaka IV
........................

When it will be felt
if not here
When it will be sung
if not now
Where it shall be chronicled
if not here

It
My beloved zoya
is like me ... in you
unseen, unspoken
yet living , loving
as you

It
is the absolute of the absolute
the nondual of the non dual
as one it is you as me
as many it is me and you

It
Sometimes
just sometimes now a days
makes me ...move as the rivulet
from the clouds on to the mountain
and to the land
makes me the pebble that moves along
and i begin , as i move to
shed the moss
of existence
I move and not move at the same time
just like i wait to hear your heart beat
and also no wait to hear your voice

It
sings its own song
in many un-mindfull ways
and buddha smiles as he hears
this song .....
he doesn't moderate the song ,
nor the singer ...and
lets him be ....as what he ought to be
and
Lets him be what he is

It
Does not hold
the universe ... nor its peace
the world...........nor its sorrows
not that it doesent want to
but it cant
even if it wants
for
its the everything of everything
and nothing of nothing

It
is the mother ... of all children
unborn
seen in your eyes ......
under the tree
before we blinked
and I
became
a no body
and
merged into the silvery
light
from a branch
of a
teak wood tree

.........BoooM............

Mundaka III

Mundaka III
Rootless
-------------

what is this ?...!!
I ask.... in awe
.the girl on the swing
was me

the free one said..
this is "it"
the soul of all...
the mother of one ..
and none...

It is ..peace...
does not rest ...
does not fall...
and does not rise..
is never ....the ..masculine..
is not the feminine....
but ..both ...and beyond,,,,
its is none...

It...is ....the sound
does not vibrate
is not a melody
does not have a rythm....
is here ...there....and every where
outside you
and inside.....
but both..and beyond....
its is nothing
and every thing

It.....is the supreme ,,,
does not claim...
has no throne....
has no movement...
of its own..
yet the swing ...
the string.....
the girl...
moved ...
inside you ...and outside ..
but both and beyond ,,
It ..is still...

It ...is the light
but does not glow...
it is the ..Non light
but does not fade...in to the dark
It is the truth..
but has no proof
to call it ....so
It is the mundane
it is the non mundane
yet...
has no charm..
no romance ..
no shine ...
but both and beyond
its me...
in you ....and you
in me...

and i see..
an old woman
walk to wards me....
and gently wipe my eyes
her eyes.....were
still
when she said
you ... learn ....you.... know
and..... I am all that is.
.."to be"

the body
was cold ...
chest was chocked
and ..in torrents
were the eyes
washing away ...
the current....and the past
but both and from beyond
was the touch

I hold her hands
soft , and old
holding within them
countless lives
i ask
who are you ?
I am she said
the wise one

I am awake
but from what ?
in what ?
there arent any easy answers
I look around for the wise one
and I ask people around
where did she go?

People see me
in bewilderment
i have no answers
till i met a child
who , when he saw me
exclaimed ....
Momma,,,!!! ,Momma...!!!
he is the one ....he is the one ...
i saw ...

I kneel ...
in front of the child
and ask ...what he had seen...
show me your chest ,,he said
I unbutton my shirt
and he said
"they are not there"!!!
i saw them going in !!

I knew
I wont see the wise one
or the free one ...
again...
just like the child
I believe
that they are
in
me...

and then
I looked into the mirror
shaved ! i stood
with no trace
of even
the roots..

and I ask
Who am I?
....
and those frogs
where did they go ?

😊

Mundaka II

Mundaka II
The swing :
---------------

I ...appear
And ... disappear
In the .....void
,,,that was nothing
and everything
...And then she
manifested
out of nothing ..and
nowhere...

Illusion it seemed
When she ..smiled
I felt... bliss
yet... I pinch
Her nose...
And it was me who was
breathless

The "free one"
Was not seperate
But one
Within me
And without

I loose all
...That I had
And then she said
.....Throw away...
..all that remains
And..... my bags
Dropped

I want to run ...away
But there is no where to go
Every where and
Everything
Seem to be
Me

I want to arrive
But there is no
Destination
To call as
me and mine

I am infinite
And.... I yet,,,, am small
A speck on the cosmic canvas
And yet the ..canvas
Itself ....
Is me ...

A ......deep
.......Gut ly cry appeared out of
No where ..
And fear
Inside ....
.....Of many birth s
,,,,emerged ...to fill ...
the cosmos .....
....And she ..then ...
Embraced me
....and ..... it.... merged into
a colossal
hummmmmmmm

The bridge
...Was thus
...Crossed
....in to the land ....
Of the
.......Unnamed ...
And the frogs !!!!
Said ....
Nothing

In solitude
...They sat...
And into...... infinity
They gazed .....
And gently ....they held
Each others hand
And
....Swayed....

Just like girl
On a swing....

..........
On a flight
19 th of August 19:23 hrs