You tried well. As Ramesh said: 'try to count the syllables', I write my haiku in the so called kanshicho-style. That style was used by Matsuo Basho (a haiku-master) between 1683 and 1685. In that style the syllables count wasn't a strict rule. Basho called it "in the way of the Chinese verse.Haiku isn't easy to write. It looks so easy, but isn't. In this haiku challenge you can learn how to write haiku (or senryu). Keep on going ... haiku writing is such a nice way to give feelings words. You did well on this prompt. Thank you for sharing.
It helps me if you comment on the imagery/ emotions/ content than style and structure. if one were to capture the entire essence of his / her life in 11-17 syllables its not going to be easy. Knowledge is not so precise some times. i love your compassion to me
very expressive and left with great visual ~ there are many styles of haiku ~ read Higginson's book The Haiku Handbok ~ not just one way to write a haiku ~ thanks, namate, ^_^
Thanks dear...i have been preventing myself to read about haiku especially styles , and structure for it prevents free flow. but ill keep it in mind...
At the risk of annoying a whole bunch of people, I'm going to say: 17 syllables do not necessarily a haiku make! It's the heart, not the syllable count, that matters.
MMT. although tradition says to count the syllables, is it not Basho ?who said learn the rules , but break them :) . syllable count is important only of one is Creating a haiku. but for the one which emerges from the innermost recesses of the heart there isnt any .
MMT. although tradition says to count the syllables, is it not Basho ?who said learn the rules , but break them :) . syllable count is important only if one is Creating a haiku. but for the one which emerges from the innermost recesses of the heart there isnt any. The syllables are so few inside...its amazing... 11 is a luxury...at 17 you are spoilt. :)
aaww...cute and beautifull. :) loved it...
ReplyDeletehey SJ....:)thnx..hmmm how would you say it... thanks to thee !!
Deletei thank thee! :D ;) :)
Delete:D
Deleteread it again J. RS was right.I shall thank thee twice
Deletevery soft and beautiful :)
ReplyDeleteThanks surbhi :)
DeleteWell thought out but with the problem of syllables again..sorry ..but I suggest try to make them into two..if you want to create Haiku..
ReplyDeletenot ? 5-7-5 rechecked it i feel its fine .
Deleteno it wasnt. thanks RS...
DeleteThis is very sweet. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteElecee... sweet of you dropping by
DeleteElecee readit again please
Deletevery cute and playful
ReplyDeletetwo playing senryu
thanks Zongrik....
DeleteVery nice...if I may suggest the last line to:
ReplyDeletein joy, rising free or up
Happy day to you ~
Life doesnt actually bother for children playing .....does it? its the negation of life that is mundane. pebble is a child.
DeleteYou tried well. As Ramesh said: 'try to count the syllables', I write my haiku in the so called kanshicho-style. That style was used by Matsuo Basho (a haiku-master) between 1683 and 1685. In that style the syllables count wasn't a strict rule. Basho called it "in the way of the Chinese verse.Haiku isn't easy to write. It looks so easy, but isn't. In this haiku challenge you can learn how to write haiku (or senryu). Keep on going ... haiku writing is such a nice way to give feelings words. You did well on this prompt. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteNamaste
It helps me if you comment on the imagery/ emotions/ content than style and structure. if one were to capture the entire essence of his / her life in 11-17 syllables its not going to be easy. Knowledge is not so precise some times. i love your compassion to me
Deletemore than knowledge ...the poets connectedness to the moment in present appears to be more significant. would like more discussion on this
Deletevery expressive and left with great visual ~ there are many styles of haiku ~ read Higginson's book The Haiku Handbok ~ not just one way to write a haiku ~ thanks, namate, ^_^
ReplyDeleteThanks dear...i have been preventing myself to read about haiku especially styles , and structure for it prevents free flow. but ill keep it in mind...
Deletehad a look at the book you suggested. it is beautiful. im touched by this gesture of yours .
Deletedelightful and playful. nicely done.
ReplyDeleteit helps if you could elaborate on what delighted you ...may be my own undertanding of the words from no where can emerge better
DeleteThe pebble talking and the stream watching in joy and then running away created a delightful image - tickled my fancy.
Deletethats very positive suzy... i was brooding actually.. your comment lifts me up...hmm not exactly lifts me up .. but a little more than that
DeletePerfect!
ReplyDeletedont really know what you mean by this .. but i ll take it as a compliment. :)
DeleteGreat write, debu! Nicely done in just that many words.
ReplyDeleteHank
thanks Kay
Deletereminds me of my childhood days.when all I wud want to do is play:) very nice..
ReplyDeleteMe too ...yeeeeeeee!!
Deletewow! so light and so beautifully put. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteKajal......thanks. the wow appears to be for real ...will keep it:)
Deletei love your imagery and your take on the prompt...kindly count the syllables of the last line..
ReplyDeleteJeanette... have modified it... surprisingly the word makes more sense to me now.. thanks !!
Deleteyes jeannette..... away....is 2. :(
ReplyDeleteIf I were the pebble and the stream flew home, I would feel so alone!
ReplyDeleteThe Christ Child at Play
Stream = life, Home = father, pebble= the son who calls me to play.
DeleteAt the risk of annoying a whole bunch of people, I'm going to say: 17 syllables do not necessarily a haiku make! It's the heart, not the syllable count, that matters.
ReplyDeleteNow, what do YOU think? :)
MMT. although tradition says to count the syllables, is it not Basho ?who said learn the rules , but break them :) . syllable count is important only of one is Creating a haiku. but for the one which emerges from the innermost recesses of the heart there isnt any .
DeleteMMT. although tradition says to count the syllables, is it not Basho ?who said learn the rules , but break them :) . syllable count is important only if one is Creating a haiku. but for the one which emerges from the innermost recesses of the heart there isnt any. The syllables are so few inside...its amazing... 11 is a luxury...at 17 you are spoilt. :)
Delete